CONFIDENCE is often mis-understood. People chase it, lose it and sometimes fake it – believing it is a fixed state, something we either have or don’t.

But, real confidence is not about always feeling bold or certain. It is about cultivating a presence that is stable, adaptable and sustainable, no matter the circumstances.

One of the first things to understand about self-confidence is that it is not about force; it is about energy. When you enter a room, people react to you before you even
say a word. Your posture, presence
and even silence shape the way others perceive you.

When you feel aligned within yourself, that internal stability radiates outwards. Small adjustments – like standing tall, making eye contact or speaking with intention – can shift
how others respond to you. People unconsciously attune to certainty, not hesitation.

Many believe confidence is about talking louder or proving something. In reality, quiet assurance often carries more weight than forced bravado. Being composed, decisive and comfortable in your own space naturally draws respect.

Confidence does not require permission or applause, it comes from self-trust and alignment.

Another fundamental aspect
of sustainable confidence is understanding that the world does not revolve around you, and that is a good thing. When people fixate too much on themselves, worrying about how they are perceived and whether others approve of their actions, they drain their own energy.

Sustainable confidence happens when you shift focus outwards, towards contribution, engagement and the bigger picture. The less you obsess over how you are viewed, the more grounded and present you become.

A powerful way to reinforce confidence is through raising your vibration. Energy is contagious and people naturally gravitate towards those who embody certainty and authenticity.

If you carry hesitation or doubt, others can unconsciously pick up on it. But when you step into your space with clarity and presence, it shifts
the dynamics. This does not mean suppressing insecurity, it means recognising it and choosing to act
with intention anyway.

Being a trendsetter is another way to cultivate lasting self-confidence. Many people wait for approval before making choices, following trends instead of setting them. But real confidence is about choosing what resonates with you, regardless of whether anyone else is doing it yet.

This applies to how you speak, dress, express ideas and navigate the world. People respect those who move with purpose rather than hesitation. When you lead with conviction, others follow. Sustainable self-confidence is not an act, it is a practice. Some days it comes easily while other days require effort.

The key is consistency, choosing
to show up fully, even when doubt creeps in. Confidence is built through action, taking small steps that reinforce self-trust.

So, what does this look like in everyday life?

First, carry yourself like you belong because you do. Stand tall, hold
space and speak with presence. Your body language can tell people how confident you feel before words are ever spoken.

Second, practise being comfortable with silence. You don’t need to fill every gap in conversation or prove yourself constantly. Some of the most confident people are those who know when to listen instead of talk.

Third, stop waiting for the perfect moment. Confidence grows through action, not avoidance. Start before you feel ready because experience is what builds self-assurance.

Fourth, detach from external validation. Confidence based on approval is fragile. The most empowered individuals trust themselves even when no one is cheering them on.

Finally, remember that confidence is not about comparison. The only person you need to measure progress against is yourself. If you focus on alignment rather than competition, your confidence will remain steady rather than dependent on circumstances.

At its core, sustainable self-confidence is a commitment to showing up for yourself. It is knowing that even in moments of doubt, you have the tools to navigate through. It is reflected in the way you carry yourself, the energy you bring into a space
and how you contribute beyond your self-image.

And the best part? It is entirely within your control.

Dr Praveena Rajendra is a certified mental health and awareness practitioner specialising in narcissistic abuse recovery. Comments: [email protected]