“Says if I really want to marry her, I’ll earn more. That one hurts the most. Because I am trying. I feel torn.”
A 33-year-old Malaysian man earning just over RM3,000 a month has gone viral after opening up about his struggle to save for a home — while allegedly footing the bill for his girlfriend’s spending habits.
In a Facebook post, the man admitted that although he does not earn a high salary, he considers himself hardworking and serious about planning for the future.
According to him, his girlfriend has always made her expectations clear:
“No house, no marriage. We must have our own home first.”
He said he agreed with her, especially given Malaysia’s rising property prices. Determined to make their goal a reality, he spent the past two years tightening his budget — cutting back on outings, reducing personal expenses, and even turning down friends who invited him out for drinks.
However, while he focused on saving, he claimed his girlfriend took a more expensive approach to life — developing a liking for branded bags, new smartphones and café-hopping at trendy spots.
She allegedly justified her purchases by saying:
“Girls like nice things, what. If not now, when?”
“You’re my boyfriend, not just anyone.”
At first, he said he did not mind and chose to give in.
“But slowly, it became this: The iPhone? I swipe. The holiday? I swipe. Birthday gift? I swipe. ‘Help me sign first, I pay you next month’ — instalment under my name.”
The 33-year-old confessed that he is now carrying credit card debt.
What hurt him most, he said, was her response when he opened up about his financial stress.
“Says if I really want to marry her, I’ll earn more. That one hurts the most. Because I am trying. I feel torn.”
He added:
“On one side, men should shoulder more. That’s what we’re taught, right? On the other side, if the goal is to buy a house, why are we living like we already own one?”
Now, he admits he feels afraid to even mention money, as it often leads to accusations of being “calculative.”
His story has since sparked debate online, with many weighing in on whether the issue stems from financial capability — or deeper differences in values and expectations within the relationship.
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The Sun Malaysia
