We keep treating teenage sex as if it were a shocking surprise. It isn’t.
LET’S be honest, most of us are uncomfortable talking to our children about sex. We would rather talk about grades, careers, even politics – just not that.
So we avoid it. We tell ourselves they are still young or that “good” children don’t think about these things or that if we don’t bring it up, maybe it won’t happen. But it is happening.
Between 2019 and 2024, more than 21,000 unmarried teenagers aged 19 and below were recorded as pregnant at government health facilities. This figure was revealed in a recent parliamentary reply by the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry.
Twenty-one thousand – that is not just a headline figure; that is thousands of families having very difficult conversations far too late.
The government says it is expanding reproductive health education and counselling programmes, which are necessary. But we also have to admit something uncomfortable: we are still reacting after the fact.
We keep treating teenage sex as if it were a shocking surprise. It isn’t. Teenagers are curious. They are hormonal and they are exposed to far more information than we ever were – much of it online and not all of it accurate.
If parents don’t explain how bodies work, Google will. If schools stay vague, social media will fill in the blanks. And social media is not particularly responsible.
Some people worry that teaching safe sex means encouraging it. I understand this fear. No parent wants to feel like they are giving permission. But information is not permission. Explaining contraception is not the same as telling someone to use it tomorrow. Talking about consent is not promoting promiscuity; it is about confronting reality.
And what happens now? A girl turns up pregnant and suddenly everyone finds their voice. There is shock. There is shame. There is panic. Decisions are made quickly – sometimes harshly.
And let’s not pretend the burden is shared equally. She is the one who leaves school. She is the one people whisper about. Her future shifts overnight. The boy’s name is mentioned and then slowly forgotten.
If we truly believe in protecting young people, then we have to stop confusing silence with protection.
Education does not remove values; parents can still teach abstinence. Faith communities can still speak about morality but knowledge should not be treated like a threat.
Teenage pregnancy isn’t only about “good” or “bad” behaviour. It affects education levels, income and long-term opportunities. Girls who become mothers early are more likely to struggle financially. Their children often start life at a disadvantage too.
We can continue pretending this is about individual mistakes or we can admit that many adults have avoided difficult conversations because they were uncomfortable.
Shame is easy but guidance takes effort. If 21,000 pregnancies don’t tell us that silence isn’t working, I’m not sure what will.
Maybe it is time we stop whispering and start talking. We are very good at avoiding awkward conversations in this country.
We lower our voices, we change the subject, we say, tak payah cerita. But our children don’t live in that silence anymore.
Hashini Kavishtri Kannan is the assistant news editor at theSun.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
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