Young Malaysians push for tapau reunion dinners, while elders defend cooking as a cherished CNY tradition
A growing number of Gen Z Malaysians accustomed to drive-throughs and food delivery say they are frustrated with older family members who reject “tapau” (takeaway) as an option for Chinese New Year reunion dinners.
In a Threads post, Melissa described it as “frustrating” trying to persuade senior relatives to order food from restaurants for prayers and family gatherings.
“Is it so hard to tapau for prayers or reunion dinner? Why is it so wrong when the family is small and everyone can just chill and enjoy the holiday?” she wrote.
Echoing the sentiment, Marina shared: “It took us a few years to tell the family that eating KFC is also a reunion dinner. No one has to cook, no one has to wash.”
Another user, KJ Lim, said she managed to convince her family to order takeaway for the reunion dinner but is still struggling to persuade her mother not to cook on the first and second days of Chinese New Year.
“She still has the mindset that no eating places are open,” Lim said, adding that her mother rejected the idea of having pizza on the first day.
“Then my mum’s rule is: if she’s busy, everyone must be busy too. So we can’t just chill. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate her hospitality, but I don’t think it’s worth the stress and body aches. Mum stressed and tired means we end up stressed too.”
Iza Malik opined that this may be a common “Malaysian mum” trait, noting that mothers from other communities react similarly.
“Chinese, Malay, Indian — when it comes to festivals, we must cook. Even Malay daughters nowadays try to convince their parents, ‘Just order, why cook until you’re exhausted?’ Why can’t we all just have a chill celebration?” she said.
Azura Rahman added: “I’m not even Chinese but I’m feeling the Asian daughter anxiety in this comment section.”
However, others defended the importance of tradition during festive occasions.
Joan Wong urged younger family members to respect customs while elders are still around.
“When they are no longer here, you can choose tapau. Traditions are passed down from generation to generation. If you don’t continue them, they will eventually disappear,” she wrote in an angry Asian mum tone.
Meanwhile, Jodie Pan, who cooks reunion dinner for her family of eight, said the effort is her way of expressing love.
“I admit it is tiring, but it’s how I show love to my family. I want the children to have something to remember in the future. As I prepare each dish, I remember how my late mother used to make them. It’s also a way for us to remember her. For the children, we can tell them, ‘This is what ah mah used to cook.’”
The Sun Malaysia
