Focus on the Family Malaysia offers simple, actionable advice to refresh your relationship and practical tips for parents guiding new teen drivers.
Q: My husband and I agree that overall our marriage is in good shape. But we know we can probably do better. What are some simple things we can try?
Focus on the Family Malaysia: We like the analogy presented by author Kim Wier. This is the time of year when we think about “spring cleaning” around the house. It is a concept that applies to marriage as well.
Kim understands that cleaning the house is necessary due to her allergic reaction to the dust in the air. She also realises that marriages can often be, in her words, “plagued by irritants”.
Pressures at work, raising children and financial stress can all lead to petty annoyances that, over time, can grow into serious relational problems. To keep things fresh, Kim offers three simple suggestions:
Declutter: Agree on at least one thing you can cut out of your schedules to minimise stress. Also, work on eliminating grudges towards each other or someone else. If you need to work through deeper hurts, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Polish: As Kim says, care for yourselves “like you did when you longed to catch each other’s eye”. Commit to focused communication as well – face to face, with no distractions.
Make room: Take time for just the two of you – even if it means squeezing in a five-minute walk here and there. If one of you is travelling, talk by phone or video call.
Every relationship could use a good spring cleaning from time to time. Taking a few moments to sweep away the dust and cobwebs can leave you breathing easier and your marriage stronger.
Q: Now that my adolescent son has his driver’s licence, how can I adequately prepare him to drive? I am more than a little apprehensive about him becoming a driver at such a young age.
Focus on the Family Malaysia: Most teenagers do want to learn how to drive safely. This is a time to influence a young driver’s behaviour for life, passing on skills and knowledge that may save lives many years in the future.First, be patient. Helping your son learn to drive may be a nerve-wracking experience for you but it is even more so for him. Give directions calmly and clearly, and be generous with encouragement and praise.
Second, it is important to model safe driving habits yourself. Observe traffic laws and be courteous of other drivers. For better or worse, children imitate their parents.
Third, consider granting driving privileges on an incremental basis. For example, initially allow your son to only drive in the day, then progress to driving at night with adult supervision. This allows him to gain experience while reducing some of the risks.
Fourth, emphasise basic safety rules, like strapping on seat belts. This is another area where your example speaks louder than words.
And your son should never drive if he is drowsy or otherwise impaired. Let him know that he can always call you for a ride to avoid being in a car with an impaired driver – whether himself or someone else.
Finally, if he refuses to correct unsafe driving patterns or habits, don’t let him have the keys. He needs to learn that driving is a privilege, not a right.
Your first priority is to keep him and others on the road alive and well while he learns to drive safely and skilfully.
This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
The Sun Malaysia
