Cultural expectations and financial stress can push men into emotional isolation, with hidden depression sometimes leading to tragic outcomes, experts say.
PETALING JAYA: Societal expectations for men to remain strong and serve as the primary family breadwinner could intensify psychological stress and deter them from seeking help, with some cases escalating into tragic outcomes, said Universiti Teknologi Malaysia psychology and counselling services centre director Dr Zulfikar Ahmad.
He said cultural pressures in Malaysia, particularly on men to uphold the breadwinner role, could lead to mental health struggles being hidden, especially during times of economic uncertainty.
“In Malaysian culture, men are still expected to ‘bring food to the table’ and maintain financial stability.
“During the pandemic, for example, you could see the number of men who felt that if they were not working, they were failing as breadwinners,” he said, citing cases in which men have gone to extreme lengths, including sacrificing their lives so that their families could claim insurance benefits.
He also said cultural pressures often leave men reluctant to seek help, although those experiencing depression may still try to reach out.
“But whenever they share their story, sometimes people offer help but halfway through say it is too tough for them to assist. Imagine having to repeat the same story, it becomes very difficult to trust anyone,” Zulfikar added.
He emphasised that family members are the first group who need to change the stigma to shift societal narratives around masculinity, especially when men begin isolating themselves, become reserved or show changes in behaviour.
He also acknowledged that although men may have egos, the extra weight and burden placed on them by others could be eased if they are simply understood in unavoidable situations.
“If you see family members or colleagues showing changes in behaviour or mood within a short period, approach them. The first response is crucial.
“Men often experience depression at higher rates than women, in part because of differences in how they process and express emotions.
“Women speak through their emotions and are outspoken about what they have experienced. Men, on the other hand, speak through actions and often keep their struggles to themselves,” he added.
Zulfikar described depression as “the mother of all mental illnesses”, highlighting that it is often silent and difficult for others to detect.
“Depression is real, hidden but present. Symptoms can appear within a week, such as isolation, reserved behaviour and changes in mood patterns.”
Zulfikar stressed that creating a safe space for men to express emotional struggles must begin in childhood, particularly through parenting and cultural attitudes.
He said boys are often told not to cry and to “be strong”, reinforcing the idea that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. Over time, such messages shape men who suppress their feelings rather than communicate them openly.
“It’s not an excuse to say we don’t have time. Children need to know who they can rely on and trust,” he said, adding that early emotional support could reduce the likelihood of bottled-up distress leading to impulsive or harmful decisions later in life.
While acknowledging that such efforts may not eliminate extreme cases entirely, he said they could help minimise the number of tragedies by fostering healthier emotional coping mechanisms from a young age.
On Thursday, media reported that five members of a family were found dead at a single-storey terrace house in Taman Cerating Damai, Kuantan, Pahang.
State police chief Yahaya Othman said the alleged assailant is believed to have killed his wife, two children and mother using a knife before taking his own life.
The man, previously employed as a lorry driver in Klang, Selangor, had returned to Kuantan and started working as a security guard earlier this month.
Investigations suggest financial difficulties may have precipitated extreme stress on the man that led to an emotional meltdown.
The Sun Malaysia
