If misogyny is partly sustained through learned norms, then change must also come from within communities and families.
CONVERSATIONS about misogyny often focus on men but there is a quieter and more complex reality that many societies rarely discuss: sometimes, misogyny is reinforced by women themselves.
In many Asian cultures, men are traditionally placed on a pedestal as decision-makers and leaders.
At the same time, women are expected to be obedient, patient and supportive. Yet paradoxically, they are often the ones managing households, guiding family decisions and shaping the values of the next generation from behind the scenes.
This contradiction creates a cycle where patriarchal expectations are not only maintained by men but also passed down by women who have learned to see these roles as normal.
One reason this happens is internalised cultural norms. For generations, women have been taught that being submissive is virtuous and that a woman’s worth lies in her ability to support male authority.
Mothers may advise daughters to “be patient with men” while mothers-in-law may expect younger women to endure hardships they themselves once faced. This does not necessarily come from malice, often, it comes from survival.
When women grow up in systems where challenging male authority leads to conflict or social rejection, adapting to those expectations can seem like the safest path. Over time, these behaviours become traditions rather than choices.
The irony is that many Asian families quietly rely on women’s leadership. Women frequently make financial decisions, manage children’s education and maintain social relationships within the community. Yet publicly, the narrative still frames men as the primary authority.
This hidden labour allows patriarchal structures to continue while obscuring the real influence women hold. Recognising this dynamic is not about blaming women. Instead, it is about understanding how deeply cultural expectations can shape behaviour.
If misogyny is partly sustained through learned norms, then change must also come from within communities and families.
In conjunction with International Women’s Day this week, I would like to emphasise that true progress means not only challenging unequal systems but also questioning the traditions that quietly keep them in place.
Only when women support one another, rather than uphold limiting expectations, can the cycle finally begin to break.
Roshini Muniam is a lecturer at the Academy of Language Studies, Universiti Teknologi Mara, Shah Alam.
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The Sun Malaysia
