Q: I’m a single adult who is deeply concerned about the plight of orphans in this country and around the world, and I would like to do my part by adopting a child who needs a home. What is your advice?

Focus on the Family Malaysia: We applaud your selfless attitude and your willingness to welcome a needy child into your home. The need for more adoptive parents is huge.

That said, Focus on the Family Malaysia remains committed to the belief that the ideal environment for every child is a two-parent home built on a loving marriage between one man and one woman.

Studies have shown that children do best in all measurable ways when they are in stable homes with a mother and a father.

That is why – and as most single mums and dads would be the first to confirm – single-parenting is a stiff challenge even under the most favourable circumstances.

I would counsel anyone who is considering this option to proceed with great care.

Furthermore, mums and dads are innately different. Academic research has demonstrated the importance
of a father’s protective influence, especially for boys.

Mothers offer nurturing and emotional support that fosters a sense of security. Both maternal and paternal roles carry unique and immeasurable value, and anyone considering single parenthood should thoughtfully and creatively consider how to meet these needs with intention.

It is also important to make a careful assessment of your resources.

Are you financially capable of providing for a child’s material needs? Will you have the support of friends and extended family?

Have you thought about education, values training and childcare? Are your current living quarters large enough to accommodate another person?

Consider these factors as you endeavour to make a commitment to raise a child.

Q: I’m trying to educate our 14-year-old daughter about “best practices” for social media before we let her create her own account(s). I like to get input from various sources. What would you suggest?

Focus on the Family Malaysia: First, we commend you for your effort to guide your daughter in navigating today’s social media landscape wisely. We compiled a list entitled “The Top-10 Social Media Rules” for all ages but most are especially applicable to teenagers:

1) Always be kind – treat others the way you want to be treated.

2) View social media as a way to give; consider how things you post can benefit others.

3) Set privacy settings, including location.

4) Don’t chat/message someone you don’t personally know in the “real” world.

5) Please, no sleaze! Modesty trumps “likes” when posting photos. (And remember that everything you post will be available for future “significant others” – and employers – to see.)

6) Nothing should be truly private. Know your children’s passwords and convey that you’ll be friending them and reading their posts. Be sure your children can read yours, too.

7) Refuse to share a post that you haven’t personally verified; that free dinner may just be a scam.

8) Limit your social media consumption/posting to just a few times per day, with parental input.

9) Avoid crudities, vulgarities, profanities or symbols for such. Don’t say it online if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face.

10) Reread carefully before you post – without facial expressions and personal contact, the best-intended post may be misinterpreted.

I would suggest printing out this list and discussing each guideline with your daughter, then placing it somewhere visible for reference.

This article is contributed by Focus on the Family Malaysia, a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community. For more information, visit family.org.my. Comments: [email protected]